A Lesson on Need, Want, and Desire
I so often hear people talking about what they need, whether they need a day off or need to get something from the store. The word need is a staple in our lives, quite literally. To need something is that the thing is necessary to our life; this must be distinguished from want and desire.
But, when you stop and think about how you use the word need, is it really for your survival? Maybe some things are, but most of what we believe we need comes from a different type of energy.
This energy is one of grabbiness and scarcity. The energy behind needing is one of lack. We confuse the things we don't have as necessary items, and we desperately reach for them; we need them.
When we can see that some of these things are not, in fact, essential to our survival, we begin to understand the concept of want. Want is beyond our basic needs and is where we start to feel an external pull towards things.
We want to have something that others do. Or we want to win and have a competitive push, knowing we don't need it.
This is an important piece to distinguish, are we acting out of need or want? From this place, we have less grabbiness and desperation but continue to be spurred forward by external factors instead of internal drivers. The energy can be boastful and outwardly insisting.
The word that I have come to focus on and use in my life is desire. Instead of talking about my needs or wants, I now know that the best space to operate from is one of genuine "soul desire."
The word want and desire certainly have similarities. Here is the difference, to want something is to wish its possession, material or not, it is to possess.
On the other hand, desire is much deeper than possession. Desire is a craving not from your head but your body. It doesn't come to you in the shape of logical thought, but as a feeling in the pit of your stomach or center of your chest.
Desire is a deep knowing and entirely internally lit; what the external world sees and expects doesn't matter.
The truth is that most people are stuck in the world of need. Some make the massive step to operate from a place of want, while others are somewhere between those two. Very few people approach their life from a place of desire.
To get to the ultimate world of operating from "soul-desire," we need to let many things go, and most of these things we have known to be true since a young age.
Some of the things we need to release are the ideas that what our soul desires could be wrong.
We are riddled with limiting beliefs stopping us from moving forward.
We need to release the rules that have told us we need to "fit in" at all costs (for our survival).
We need to release the low vibrational emotions we've held tightly onto.
The list could go on.
To begin the journey towards desire, I challenge you to start with awareness. Every decision you make in your life is made from a place of need, want, or desire. So, the next time you have a decision to make (small or large), ask yourself -
How will this decision genuinely affect my life?
Am I listening to my brain or my body for guidance with the options in front of me?
How is the external world impacting the way I see my options?
These three questions are simple but are making you present and intentional. We want to calm the typical life/death cortisol response, tap into your body for guidance, and make sure we aren't making decisions because of our external world.
While these might sound simple, they are, in fact, a challenge. Truthfully, most of our decisions every day aren't even brought to the conscious mind. But, by training our minds to start getting these to the forefront, we can begin breaking the pattern as we move towards growth, expansion, and abundance.
Check out this quiz if you are curious about where you are currently on the need, want, and desire spectrum. Knowing your starting point is essential to the journey forward.